In the United States, COVID-19 case rates are once again surging, and the country seems hopelessly divided in a culture war over mask-wearing and vaccines. Climate crisis alarms are ringing nonstop with reports of famine, floods, and forest fires. International humanitarian crises and political conflicts roar on. The doom and gloom can weigh pretty heavily. One indicator: Research shows our collective mental health has indeed taken a dip since the start of the pandemic. According to a Pew Research Center survey from March this year, 21 percent of U.S. adults are experiencing high levels of emotional distress, with close to half reporting depression. The American Psychological Association (APA) reported, also in March 2021, that 48 percent of parents are more stressed now than they were before the pandemic, according to an APA-commissioned Harris Poll survey of more than 3,000 American adults. But the good news is there are ways to develop a more positive outlook, even in the middle of a pandemic. And the reasons to do so are manifold. Research has linked optimism to numerous positive health outcomes, like lower risk of mood disorders and mental illness, improved physical health, and even better problem-solving skills. RELATED: Tips for Showing Yourself Some Self-Compassion Improving your outlook is not about ignoring the bad or pretending those things aren’t happening; it’s about taking steps to actively see the positive in a situation. Here are eight tips from optimism experts on how to do that.
1. Remember That Optimism Doesn’t Mean Ignoring the Negative
Optimism doesn’t mean focusing only on the bright side when truly awful things are happening. Eranda Jayawickreme, PhD, an associate professor of psychology at Wake Forest University in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, who researches positive change after adversity, says it’s important to acknowledge reality, even when reality isn’t so great. “Take a step back and say, ‘Okay, this is where I am,’” he says. “I accept the challenges I’m faced with. I’m not going to minimize them.” According to the APA, the definition of optimism is “hopefulness: the attitude that good things will happen and that people’s wishes or aims will ultimately be fulfilled.” Optimism flows from your attitude, which is something you can change over time.
2. Start Small
When you first wake up in the morning, ask yourself: “What might go really well today?” suggests Seth Gillihan, PhD, a clinical psychologist in private practice in Haverford, Pennsylvania, and a coauthor of A Mindful Year: 365 Ways to Find Connection and the Sacred in Everyday Life. If you focus on just one or two good things around you — fresh air, the smell of a good cup of coffee, or your favorite pillow — you will tune your brain in to the positive. Another way of describing this is gratitude, the practice of thinking about and appreciating pleasant or beneficial circumstances. Several studies have found that gratitude practices like keeping a gratitude journal or writing a letter of gratitude can lead to a more positive mood, according to a white paper published in 2018 by the University of California in Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center. Not that a gratitude practice has to be a lofty or effortful endeavor like writing, Dr. Gillihan says. Start with just noticing things you like. RELATED: What Psychologists Do in the Morning to Set Themselves Up for a Good Day
3. Know What’s in and What’s out of Your Control
Letting go of what’s out of your control is important, Dr. Jayawickreme says — you can change only what you can control, after all. Identifying what you can change is an important step on the road to feeling more positive. There are two big areas of control that researchers like Jayawickreme study: primary control (all the things you can change in the world around you) and secondary control (the internal changes you can make to shift how you feel about your circumstances). When you make changes in either area — primary or secondary — and those changes start to make your environment or outlook better, you feel more optimistic about your future, Jayawickreme says.
4. Be Mindful of Media Consumption: Both the News and Your Instagram Feed
“Stop comparing yourself to people on social media,” says Sara Battista, a licensed professional counselor in private practice in Washington, DC. Remember that the images you see are edited and curated. They aren’t necessarily a reflection of reality. Too much time spent with these unrealistic pictures can lead to what’s called “future tripping,” which Battista describes as an endless rabbit hole of worrying that you’ll never be enough or never end up being as great as someone else you’re comparing yourself with. Tuning in to the news isn’t the best thing for your mental health, either, says Jennice Vilhauer, PhD, a psychologist in private practice in Los Angeles and the author of Think Forward to Thrive, who developed a psychotherapy method she calls future-directed therapy, which helps people identify self-limiting beliefs about their future and teaches strategies for overcoming them. That’s not to say you shouldn’t stay informed about local and world events, but if you find that you’re worrying a lot about the news, it’s healthy and appropriate to put boundaries around your time, Battista says. RELATED: Is Social Media Busting or Boosting Your Stress?
5. Change the Conversation
Are you finding yourself in the same fights over and over again with family members or friends about things like vaccines and masks? These kinds of conversations, where there’s more heat than light, usually aren’t worth the negative emotional fallout. According to Gillihan, you can say something like, “I don’t know about you, but I don’t feel like these conversations are very productive. You’re not changing my mind. I’m not changing your mind. Maybe we can talk about other things?” With any luck, that will put an end to it.
6. Think More About What You Want Than What You Don’t Want
Remember, you have the power to decide where to focus your energy, Dr. Vilhauer says. “If you think about what you don’t want, you’re going to get more of what you don’t want, which is a lot of negative emotion.” On the other hand, she says, any positive behavior (like making a donation, volunteering, or thinking about something you’re grateful for) is going to help you think more positively, as is being solutions-oriented. People can get really bogged down in a things-are-never-going-to-get-better attitude, Vilhauer adds. She says she likes to remind her clients: “Problems always give birth to solutions and solutions do come, even if it takes a while.” So spend that time thinking about what you want for the future rather than what didn’t go right in the past.
7. Don’t Put Too Much Pressure on Yourself
We love redemption narratives, says Jayawickcreme: stories in which bad things happen but we emerge changed for the better. But the downside is we sometimes put pressure on ourselves to see adversity as something that happened for a reason, he says. In the case of the pandemic, we’re still in the midst of it. So it’s probably too soon to see exactly how this will change our lives — and that’s okay. Don’t rush to find some big life lesson right now. Go easy on yourself. Thinking more optimistically is all about taking small steps today and tomorrow to point you in a more positive direction.
8. Don’t Get Hung Up on the How, What, or Why — Just Do It
The more you practice optimism, the easier it will get. But that doesn’t mean you need to muscle yourself back into it if you’ve been in a rut of negativity. Optimism doesn’t actually require “penance” or a lot of makeup work to get back to some ideal state, says Gillihan. “It’s about the direction you’re going,” he explains. “Imagine optimism as a parallel track that’s always right next to you. You don’t have to do a lot of work to get back on the right path. Just take one step.”
