We sat down with Simmons to discuss her current work and to learn more about her perspective on wellness.
What are you working on now?
My first online course for mothers of girls. What I’m calling “Enough as We Are” is about healing your own inner girl to improve your parenting of your daughter. The goal is to make you more aware of unresolved issues from your childhood. For example, a lot of kids who experience social challenges aren’t first inclined to see in dark ways or extreme ways. But if you experienced being bullied or left out as a child and it wounded you, you may express emotions more appropriate to what you went through then, than the adult you are now.
Simmons on Stress
We all need to be better informed about stress. What is something we should know to increase our stress IQ?
That social connections, in terms of talking to people when you’re stressed — and also maintaining connections not associated with your work life — are key. Workplace relationships are circumscribed by your work. I see that with college students — how they can be lonely and yet have time to socialize or are socializing more. They are socializing, but they’re socializing around studying. They’re not focused on building relationships. Read More From Simmons on Stress
Simmons on Resilience
How do you define resilience?
I define resilience as the ability to bounce back from setbacks and failure without beating yourself up. It’s a skill that we have to work at, like exercising a muscle. With practice it strengthens over time.
We all at one time or another have a life experience that challenges our resilience. Can you describe what you learned about your own resilience after such an experience?
Earlier this year, I suffered an anxiety attack on stage in front of 250 parents. My speech was interrupted — I had to sit down, ask for a glass of water, and take a moment to re-center myself in the moment. I was wildly embarrassed. While years ago, I likely would have given up, slinking off stage and returning the money, thanks to the work I’ve done around resilience I was able to recover. I placed a hand over my heart and practiced self-compassion, reminding myself that I wasn’t alone. I was vulnerable with the audience, sharing what I was experiencing and how failing so publicly made me feel. Through this experience, I learned how powerful self-compassion can be when building resilience to failure. The more we speak to ourselves like a close friend, reminding ourselves that we are not alone, the faster we will recover from the inevitable road bumps of life. Because here’s the truth: Everyone screws up. People who are able to stand up and say “stuff happens” bounce back the fastest.
