These impacts are not only reflected in the movement itself but are reflected in who we are and how we show up for ourselves. When we prioritize our self-care, we allow ourselves to show up fully to enact the change we seek. This has been a lot for a long time now. The pain of it is catapulted by the fact that for many people, awareness of systemic racism seems to be a new thing. It is cool and on-trend with #BlackoutTuesday squares as much as it was #savagechallenge a few weeks ago. But none of this is actually new at all. This concept of newness has shifted the larger feeling from one of invisibility to hyper-visibility. With this has come the overwhelming pressure to be constantly engaged, and unfortunately, constantly on edge. We are experiencing a different form of collective trauma, almost as intense and tangible as the anxiety that fills the air during a grocery store trip despite donning your mask and gloves, hand sanitizer in tow. RELATED: How to Build Your Resilience During the COVID-19 Pandemic
Why Self-Care Is More Important Than Ever
Self-care right now is paramount, and I have forgotten this at times, as I have momentarily forgotten myself. Throughout these past few days, I’ve somehow felt a million emotions at once — outrage, joy, a deep sense of mourning, uncertainty, confusion, apathy, disgust, and hope. Stress has manifested in nightly headaches, in my body feeling more exhausted, in my lack of motivation and constant reminders to unclench my jaw, straighten my back, drink water, and take care of myself. There’s pressure at my temples and on my shoulders. I am recalling how to lift heavy things while feeling like a heavy thing. Despite years of trying to reconfigure our own racial PPE — straightening our hair, changing our names, adjusting our tones and faces and cultures to try to fit social standards never made for us — racism is a virus that has infiltrated and made itself known without pause. While the world combats one virus, Black people fight two pandemics, and both have yet to be cured. For a while, I was overcome with hopelessness and fear as my timeline flooded with videos of police brutality and Black death yet again. I heard my mother’s voice and my grandmother before her, Black women, always saying, “If it ain’t one thing, it’s another.” And sometimes that’s how it feels — like there is no end in sight. We feel generational fatigue, almost as genetic as our melanin. But we have equally been strengthened during this fight, dancing constantly on the precipice of more freedom, moving mountains in our own ways. This nuanced work will take time to dismantle in all of the places it manifests, as much as it has taken time for it to become the deeply rooted foundation of this country. It will require more perseverance, and above all, for us to prioritize ourselves. RELATED: Quiz: Are You Making Choices That Help or Hinder Your Resilience?
8 Tips for Self-Care That Have Helped Me
1. Unplug
We are constantly engaged. I haven’t been as active on Facebook in the past few years as I have in the past week alone. I have literally thrown my phone across the room, flinging it away from me in disgust at some of the things I’ve seen or heard, completely exhausted from so much content. Your mind and body can only handle so much. Unplug and give it the break you need.
2. Pay Attention to Your Body
Give your physical body the love and care it deserves. Recall simple needs: Eat well, stay hydrated, sleep, shower, and maintain your hygiene habits, make time for deep breathing and movement.
3. Welcome Joy
Allow joy into your home. Let it take its shoes off and get comfortable. Allow it into yourself. Do not make it a stranger during this time. Recall or find things that make you laugh and smile and know that you do not have to grieve in every moment. You are allowed to be happy right now. If happiness comes to you, let it.
4. Say No
You have more power than you think you do. You have the power of choice. If a conversation starts to feel like too much, say no. If the person trying to argue you down on the internet is making you feel like you have to prove your humanity and experiences, say no. Protect your space, protect your mind.
5. Forgive Yourself
Forgiveness is crucial. You are only human, despite those who make you feel anything but. You can only do so much. If you’re not feeling productive or extremely present during this time, it is okay. Don’t feel guilty for not being able to do it all. Allow yourself to feel tired, but do not give up. We are all feeling heavy. It is okay to feel heavy and weighed down.
6. Find Community
We have different ways of relating in our Blackness. There is no one way to be Black and empowered. Find your community within the larger community to turn to for the kind of support you need that fits your identity and life.
7. Create
Our ability to create a way out of no way is like a genetic superpower rooted in our skin. It has been done for centuries and we must not lose it. Create in whatever way you feel called to. Embrace music, embrace art, embrace love. Embrace the fact that we are creating a new normal just by existing like this, and that there is something to celebrate in that, too.
8. Remember the Vision
This work will not be done overnight. Over a few months, or even a few years. It will take time. Do not lose sight of the vision. Do not give up on this fight for equality and the right to live.
How Showing Up for Yourself Will Help Generations to Come
It is my attention to self-care that has kept me grounded lately. I am no longer afraid of the idea that this work does not stop with us and I am willing to run this marathon. It is this self-care that will allow me, and all of us playing our own respective roles in revolution, to continue to be in it for the long haul and to ignite powerful change. And remember, there are moments of joy and happiness in between the chaos. There are reasons to celebrate all of the ways in which our lives matter. Yes, fundamental change takes time. While we navigate through this waiting, we must prioritize our mental and physical health. No one else will do it for us. Without it we cannot be our own individual revolutions, contributing to the collective.
