But with the majority of people in the United States under stay-at-home orders due to the coronavirus pandemic, it can be harder than usual for older people to stay connected. Making things worse is the fact that older people tend to be more susceptible to severe illness from the coronavirus, which means that ordinary tasks, like going to the grocery store, can be fraught with danger, particularly in areas of the country where the virus has hit hard. Even if you live in an area of the country that is loosening its social distancing rules, remember that the virus is still present in the community and that going back to group gatherings and close physical contact is still not safe. “We all have challenges right now, no matter what age we are,” says Natalie Galucia, a social worker and manager at the Harvey A. Friedman Center for Aging at Washington University in St. Louis. “But there is a disproportionate burden on older adults.” For older people, now may be a good time to explore new avenues of communication to keep in touch with friends and family — and possibly strangers, in the right circumstances. But you can also potentially make better use of technologies that are already part of your life, including replacing some forms of in-person contact that have vanished because of the pandemic. And though learning to use new technologies can be daunting for many people, there are resources available to help almost anyone accomplish this — even if you’re not a tech whiz. Here are some ideas for older people looking to socialize while staying safe at home, and for friends, families, and neighbors looking to reach out to older people.
A Few Ways to Connect With Friends and Family at a Distance
Just because it isn’t safe to physically meet with friends or family members doesn’t mean you can’t interact with them. And while video-conferencing and chatting services have gotten a lot of attention lately, don’t forget about more old-fashioned options.
Make a Phone Call
“The simplest thing is a phone call. The power of hearing a loved one’s voice,” Galucia says, makes this a valuable mode of communication, even if you can’t see the other person’s expressions. If you might have met a friend or family member for a meal before the pandemic, or if you’d like to reconnect with someone after a long time, try reaching out to schedule a phone conversation, especially if you know the person has a busy schedule or many responsibilities at home. Of course, with some people, it may be fine to call them out of the blue.
Write a Letter or Email
Now may be a good time, Galucia says, to write a letter or email to someone you haven’t seen or talked to in a while. Any form of communication can be rewarding and help you feel connected — it doesn’t need to involve a live conversation. That also includes sharing photos on a digital platform, such as Facebook or a messaging app or email, “to keep your loved one up-to-date on what’s going on in your daily lives in a visual way,” says Galucia.
Try Video Chatting
People of all ages feel like video chatting offers the best substitute for meeting face-to-face. Younger people, Galucia says, “sometimes underestimate the number of older adults who have access to that technology and are interested in using it,” so they don’t propose video chatting with older friends or relatives as a result. If an older friend or relative isn’t used to video chatting, that doesn’t mean they aren’t interested, Galucia emphasizes. In fact, now may be a great time to ask an older friend or relative who isn’t familiar with video chatting if they’d like to try it. If they already have a smartphone or tablet, you can probably coach that person to use your preferred video-chatting app in a matter of minutes.
Explore Other Easy Tech Options
If you don’t own a smartphone or tablet and aren’t very tech savvy, says Galucia, a good option may be a tablet designed for older adults called the GrandPad. “It’s really easy to use,” she says. It allows users to make voice-only or video calls, write and receive emails, take and share photos, and much more. Friends and family members can connect with GrandPad users through a free companion app for iOS and Android. And if you need help figuring out how to use a device or app for communication, or are wondering what messaging or video app to use, TechBoomers provides a number of guides and tutorials on relevant topics. RELATED: The Healing Power of Friendship Grows With Age
How to Participate in Virtual Group Activities: Exercise, Courses, and More
Many activities can be adapted to a video-chat format, says Galucia. “Setting up virtual parties and playing a card game together, eating a meal together even though you’re apart — there are lots of ways for people of all ages” to connect, she suggests. That can also include bringing larger group activities, like exercise classes or bingo nights, into the digital realm, which can take some effort on the part of organizers to make sure every participant has access to the video platform being used. If your regular exercise or craft class isn’t meeting virtually by video, you can join a class or other online gathering hosted by Senior Planet. This organization offers courses, classes, and other programs for older adults both online and (when there isn’t a pandemic) at physical locations in six U.S. cities. The group’s online offerings — all of which are free — include many exercise classes, practical courses on topics like using food-delivery apps and listening to podcasts, and a book club that’s just getting off the ground. Most activities can be joined using either your computer or your phone, with a video or audio-only link depending on how you’re connecting. Another way to keep your mind engaged and potentially connect with others is to take an online course offered by a college or university. Both free and paid courses are available on a wide variety of subjects, from nutrition to world history, with course lengths ranging from less than a day to several weeks. You can find a long list of free online courses at Open Culture, as well as on platforms like Coursera and directly from universities like Harvard, Stanford, and Carnegie Mellon. RELATED: How Tech Is Helping More People Age at Home
How to Stay Safe When Socializing Online: Dos and Don’ts
There are more opportunities than ever before to interact with strangers virtually, from online communities like Facebook, Reddit, and the 50-and-above social network Stitch to dating apps and websites and certain online games. While connecting with new people can be both exciting and safe in some cases, Galucia warns that it does come with risks and necessary limits.
Don’t Share Personal Information Online or on the Phone
Some online games, she says, have built-in safeguards for users’ privacy, such as the crossword-style game Words With Friends. “You don’t necessarily have to know the people, and of course you don’t really get to know them either,” she notes. But any site, app, or game that has a chat function means that it’s possible to share personal information — something you generally shouldn’t do. “Be wary that there are people out there who have malicious intent,” says Galucia. “If they’re starting to pry or ask too many questions, that’s probably not someone you want to talk to.” Needless to say, any information that someone else shares with you online could be false, and their profile or photos might not reflect who they really are.
Don’t Share Financial Information Online or on the Phone
Keeping your private and financial information safe doesn’t only apply to interacting online. If you get a phone call from a relative asking for money, it could be real — after all, a record number of people are experiencing job loss and financial hardship during this pandemic. But it could also be a scam from someone pretending to be your relative. If you receive such a phone call, “ask a question that only the two of you would know,” Galucia says. “If you can, verify with another family member — say it’s your granddaughter, call their mom or sister,” to make sure that the request is legitimate. And whatever you do, don’t share your financial information over the phone, not even if you’re sure it’s a real request. If you want to send money to a relative, sending a check by mail to a confirmed address is the safer choice.
How Neighbors and Community Members Can Help
Helping older adults stay connected and safe is something that family members, neighbors, and the wider community can all contribute to, says Galucia. With an older neighbor you don’t know well, she suggests putting a note in the mailbox saying, “Hey, I’m your neighbor. I’m here for you. Here’s my phone number.” If you know their number, call and check in, or she says, if you’re running to the store, ask if you can pick anything up for them. You can also leave care packages for older neighbors, or cook them a meal and let them know you’ve left it outside their home. Small acts of generosity, Galucia says, “let people know you’re thinking of them.”
Volunteer to Make Virtual Visits
Students to Seniors is an organization that connects trained student volunteers (at least 16 years old) with older adults who may be isolated or are just interested in connecting with younger people. Both students interested in volunteering and older adults can sign up to learn more on the group’s website.
Donate to Organizations That Serve Older Adults
If you don’t have time to reach out to older community members in a personal way but still want to help, Galucia recommends giving money to a local or national organization that provides services to older adults, such as home wellness checkups or delivering meals. During this pandemic, she notes, such groups are “continuing to provide volunteer services and making sure the needs of their members are met.” Many of these groups are really stretched, she adds, and they need financial help. A simple internet search with your location and “senior services” can turn up organizations, or you can give to Meals on Wheels America or the National Council on Aging. And you can give directly or find a local senior support group at the Village to Village Network.